Processing an Amazing Experience
I was privileged to be
more involved with the Bethel team this year. I got to be the team's guide,
so I helped figure out the train routes so we could get to meetings on time. I
also got to act as translator a few times and as adviser to help strategize one
or two of the meetings. I got to participate with the team to minister in a
number of locations throughout the Kansai area.
One of the most impacting things for me was just to be with the team. There is
such strength and courage that can rise when you are with other people that
have a similar passion and will back you up when you step out. I hadn't felt
that sense of backing for a while and it was really refreshing. Not to sound
like we don't have a team of friends in our area. We have such amazing, godly
friends! But because the demands in each of our lives are so big, it's hard to
have that sense that there is more than enough and someone will be there for
you. So being part of a team was one amazing part of the experience.
I was also super fascinated to find out the details of how a mission team like
that functions. How do they debrief, how do they stay filled up, how do act
when they are not 'in ministry', and what do they do in their free time? I
was pleased to find out that the team was just as awesome during breakfast as
they were in a Church meeting. They were just as passionate for God on the
train as when they were praying for someone. I loved
being with people who were focused on God and full of hope and anticipation of
what He would do!
It was such a powerful experience for me to be included as part of their team.
I helped with worship, I was on the prayer team to minister to whoever needed
prayer, I practiced feeling God's heart of love towards people, and I was
encouraged to take more leadership in several locations. I felt like during the
week I spent with the team, I was being empowered to go to a new level with
God. Now I've done the same stuff the Bethel team did
with very similar results. God was faithful to show up at every meeting. I had
already done almost everything before, but to do it with a team and in such
a concentrated amount of time helped me take it to a new level.
Before this team came, I had heard testimonies of teams praying for people on
the street or on the train, but I hadn't ever actually seen anyone do it. I've
walked down streets in Japan thousands of times and haven't figured out a good
way to approach someone and ask to pray for them. On one of our train rides
together, a young lady sitting nearby was watching us. I started talking to her
in a combination of Japanese and English and eventually asked to pray for her.
She agreed (which is amazing! And thankfully becoming more common, I believe).
So a few of the team members and I prayed for her and the lady sitting next to
her. It was so powerful for me to see that praying for people in public,
especially on the train, is possible! Both the ladies were very open and
friendly.
With that experience behind me and lots of testimonies of healings from the
week, I found myself alone on the train on my way home. It was Monday, April 8th,
in the late afternoon and I had just had a great time walking around downtown
Kobe with Agnese, Anna, and Simon. As I boarded the train there was a
considerable struggle inside me. On the one hand, I have ridden the train so
many times that I've learned how to give people their space and not be loud or
obnoxious. It takes too much energy to talk to people, so if I'm alone I
usually try not to engage them. On the other hand, I had just been with the
team and seen so many amazing things: people getting healed, God speaking words
of encouragement to individuals, and for my own self a refreshing realization
that there are people that are also just as passionate for God. I had just
practiced praying for several dozen people, I had seen that it was possible to
talk to someone on the train. So with these feelings battling inside me, I
boarded the train feeling alone, like I was missing my team. I happened to
stand in front of a girl who had really bad allergies, so her eyes were red and
a bit swollen. I stood there thinking, "I just saw so many people get healed,
wouldn't it be cool to pray for her and see Jesus heal her, too?" Part of
me was trying to figure out how to interrupt the silence and talk to her
without making her feel embarrassed or self-conscious. And there was another
voice telling me, “You're tired. You need a break. It's awkward
to try to talk to her. Just leave her alone.” I stood there as the
young girl sat with an instrument on her back and seemed to be nodding to sleep.
Her mom sat beside her, working away on her cell phone. I watched them hoping
that they would look up even once and make eye contact. But they didn't. My
brain was trying to figure out a phrase to interrupt and talk to them. Part of
me so wanted to just ignore the allergies and just pretend I was the only
person on the train. And part of me was almost desperately trying to figure out
a way to graciously talk to them, knowing that we might arrive at their station
at any moment. Finally I broke the silence and asked in Japanese, “What is
the instrument on her back?” The mom looked up and was very friendly.
She said it was a violin. Her daughter didn't look up, but
continued to try to sleep. I talked with the mom for a little bit about violin
and school and how old the girl was. Finally I said, “Her eyes
look a little bit itchy?” and she replied that it was spring allergies. Then I was
able to ask if I could pray for her. The mother agreed and as she did the train
stopped at their station. As I quickly prayed, "God, please heal her," and
said goodbye, they exited the train.
“I did it,” I thought. “I actually prayed for
someone on the train by myself!” The results of that prayer I have to leave
in God’s hands,
but for me it was a breakthrough. For a while I've been trying to
figure out how to reach people in Japan. I've live on the mission
field and I see people every day who don’t know the love of God.
I feel like being part of this last Bethel team gave me some new tools to help me
figure out how I can reach out to those around me.
Another thing I found out on this trip was that we all
get tired. It makes so much sense now that I've experienced it, but
I hadn't factored
that into the equation before. I figured that you should get energy and get
revived when you are literally seeing people healed or impacted God, and He is
moving through you in visible ways. But every time you interact with people,
especially when you are giving and helping and praying for others, there is a
physical drain. Spiritually, emotionally, and physically you are giving to
others. There was also an excitement and adrenaline that came with seeing God
moving through me to touch people's lives. And there was
an energy that came from being with the team and being included. But there was
a lot of output over the week and I found out that everyone also got tired. It
was amazing to see how every day God gave new grace and energy, especially
during the meetings, but I found myself super exhausted some of the days, too. Thursday
was a particularly long day, since we started traveling at 8:30 AM, began
ministering at 10:30 AM, and continued until 9:30 PM. However it was also one
of the most fruitful and reviving days we had. Each of the three meetings and
the meals in between brought more of the presence of God, fellowship, and connection
with those around us. But by the afternoon I was seriously tired. And by the
time we got home at 11:30 PM, I was beyond exhausted. Although it took nearly a
week after the trip to fully catch up on sleep, God’s grace
was there for every day and every meeting. For each person we prayed for God
spoke new words specifically for them and gave me the energy to share with joy
and hope. 
So now it has been a full week since the team left. The
week we had together was so powerful and fun. So much happened that I'm still
trying to process and record miracles, words, and revelations. It was a week
packed with God's presence, miracles, new experiences and opportunities,
growth, and fun. Now I'm trying to figure out how much of that can I do on a
daily basis with those I interact with. What can I carry by myself and share
with those around me? Obviously I can't keep up the pace or
intensity that we had while the Bethel team was here. We don't have
that extra input and it was too physically exhausting to maintain long term.
But throughout the week I have tried to watch for moments that I can continue
what we did. Whether it's to stop and turn my heart to Jesus, or to pause for a
moment and feel His presence, or to share with someone I teach English to of
the amazing things God did, I've been trying to notice the opportunities
God brings to share and encourage others.
The rest of the team went back to America. They planted
seeds in Japan in faith and left them in God's hands. But I am still
in Japan. I am right here. Three main points stand out to me to kind of summarize my thoughts:
1.
I can do what teams
from Bethel can do. The Holy Spirit is with me always. The things God does
through other people, God is more than willing to do through me.
2.
I get tired. Ministry
isn't just
easy and fun. There are elements of extreme satisfaction that nothing else can
give, but there are also elements that are extremely exhausting. Learning to
balance your life with ministry and rest is absolutely critical.
3.
Japan will be reached
by a combination of short-term and long-term, God-centered people who can hear
God's voice
and love His children. We need new people that come in for short intense trips
with energy, hope, and life, and people that are willing to come long-term, who
learn how to actually live life and balance ministry and rest.
I realized that sometimes from the outside it seems like,
“Why is it
taking so long to reach Japan?” Sometimes I've thought, “Why does
it seem so slow to see change in people's lives. Look at all
the change we saw during that one and a half weeks the Bethel team was here. We
have people living in Japan full-time that can do the same stuff, so we should be
able to multiply the number of people that were touched in those 10 days by 35 and
that should be the amount of change we should be seeing!” But you
have to also take into account the cost the team went to in order to interact
with the people they did. They all spent their spring break to minister for one
solid week in Japan. They paid their own way to get here and travel to various
locations in Japan. And they each used up an incredible amount of energy. If
you multiply that by 35, anyone can realize that it is impossible to maintain
that intensity of time, energy, and finances long-term.
So now I've been processing how to balance time,
energy, and resources in order to stay healthy and continue to see God working
in my life and the lives of those I come in contact with.
Seeing a nation change for the Lord may seem slow and
costly, but it is also so rewarding. And it starts with one person. Myself. I
must discover who I am and work with God to find a healthy balance of giving
and receiving in my life. And from there I can help, give, bless, and encourage
those around me as God gives strength and grace.
Thank you everyone from Bethel who came to Japan for this
spring break! God did so much through you guys and you blessed so many people!
I want to say thank you especially to the Kansai team for including me during
your time here. And thank you to all of our missionary friends who organized or
helped make this trip possible!
